I’ve spent most of my career hiding as an individual contributor, afraid to fully step into leadership and unsure of my own power.
In the first half of my career, I worked behind the scenes on high-performing teams at Microsoft and The Kraft Group. Later, in venture capital, I managed a few associates and interns, but I was never responsible for raising capital or building something from scratch. As a solopreneur, I collaborated with other coaches and consultants on various projects, but it was never the same as leading a team with a shared mission.
After leaving VC, I convinced myself that I didn’t need to build an organization—that I could do it all on my own. But beneath that independence was fear: fear that I lacked the skills and confidence to lead. I made every excuse—the timing wasn’t right, I liked the freedom of being a solopreneur, and being a dad with young kids made it feel impossible. The weight of leadership—its responsibilities and the possibility of failing—felt too heavy to bear. I stayed on the sidelines, afraid of what stepping into that role would reveal about me.
Deep down, I felt like an imposter—here I was, offering leadership advice and coaching to founders and executives for years, yet I had never truly led. I was speaking from the sidelines, afraid to step onto the field. There was a quiet shame in that, one I didn’t want to confront, so I hid behind my independence because it felt safe. It allowed me to stay in control, avoiding the vulnerability that comes with truly leading.
But no matter how much I tried to suppress it, there was always a part of me that longed for the challenge—to create something bigger than myself, to contribute to a mission larger than me. By January of this year, the desire to create something meaningful became too strong to push aside. I had a vision to create Downshift, a company dedicated to helping founders and executives navigate transition, recover from burnout, and find new purpose in life.
At first, I didn’t set out to build a team. Collaborations formed naturally—David Spinks offered to contribute on a hike, Matt Yao emailed me to be my apprentice, and together we launched the first Downshift cohort this spring. Over the summer, I sought a female co-facilitator to bring a new set of skills and feminine energy to the team, and I connected with Tracy Lawrence. Most recently, we welcomed Andy Johns, who offered to get involved after we became close friends.
Looking back, I realize I wasn’t consciously trying to build a team—it just emerged. But as we’ve launched Downshift and the team has grown, I’ve realized that I don’t have to carry everything on my shoulders. I don’t want to, and more importantly, I don’t need to. Leadership isn’t about doing it all—it’s about creating something bigger, together.
Recognizing the Strength in Others
In embracing what I bring to the table—vision, deep experience, and more—I’ve gained a new appreciation for what others contribute. Rather than feeling like I’m failing by not knowing everything, I now see this as an opportunity to build something far greater than myself. Downshift was never meant to be just about me; it was always about the mission. The difference now is that I realize I don’t have to carry that mission by myself.
As the team formed, I’ve come to appreciate the incredible gifts others bring to the table—skills, experiences, and wisdom that complement mine in ways I hadn’t imagined. David brings years of expertise in community design and creation. Tracy offers a decade of leadership and entrepreneurial experience, along with her deep knowledge of somatic and mindfulness practices. Andy is a master of product and growth, and Matt, who was a product manager at some of the world’s top companies, brings invaluable insight. Each of them has gone through their own transitions and transformations, bringing a unique perspective to our work.
As I’ve engaged more deeply with them and watched them step up to take on responsibilities, I’ve felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I no longer feel the need to be the best leader or have all the answers. Leadership isn’t about mastering every skill or handling everything myself—I don’t have to be everything to everyone. For years, I believed I had to master every tool and wear every hat. But I’ve learned that leadership is not about doing it all—it’s about creating space for others to thrive.
I’m coming to appreciate that it’s not about weakness or deficiency—it’s about embracing the genius others bring and allowing it to flourish. For the first time, I’m saying it out loud: I can’t do it all, and I don’t need to know it all. What matters is creating the space and support for others to step into their brilliance.
Stepping Into a New Phase
With this newfound clarity, I’m stepping into the next phase of Downshift with a deep sense of excitement—not just for what we’re building, but for how we’re building it, together. I’m leaning into my role as a leader, not by having all the answers, but by creating a space where each of us can bring our best and grow together.
What’s been most liberating is the openness I’ve cultivated with the team. I’ve openly shared my limitations, admitting where I lack experience and where I know I’ll make mistakes. In the past, this vulnerability would have felt like a weakness, but now I see it as the foundation of trust within our team. I’ve asked for forgiveness when I’ve messed up and have invited the team to help me become a better leader. The feedback I’ve received has been both humbling and empowering. I’m learning as much as I’m leading, and that feels like the right balance for this chapter.
As we move forward, I’m committed to staying open and humble, continuing to build Downshift into something that truly serves high performers navigating transitions and burnout. We’re helping them connect more deeply with themselves and discover what they truly want from life. And I’ve realized that to do that effectively, I need to live that truth myself.
The Power of Servant Leadership
After our Downshift retreat ended on Friday, I came home feeling transformed—not just as a person, but as a leader. The biggest shift for me has been embracing my role as a servant leader. I’m here to lead, support, guide, and learn. I know I’ve never done this before, and I’m no longer afraid to admit that. I believe in myself, my team, and the source that’s guiding Downshift’s emergence.
Sitting here now, I’m in awe of what we’ve created together. There’s so much energy and alignment when I reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re headed. I don’t have all the answers, but I know we’ll figure it out together. That’s the beauty of this journey—each step is unfolding in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. I don’t want to be the guru or the master with all the wisdom—I want to be part of a collective, where everyone’s brilliance has the chance to shine.
In the past, I believed that leadership was about holding it all together, about having all the answers and projecting certainty. But now I see that true leadership is about fostering trust, humility, and openness. It’s about creating a space where we can all be real, where we can make mistakes, grow from them, and still move forward stronger than before. It’s about trusting in the process and the people, knowing that leadership isn’t about being the strongest or smartest in the room—it’s about empowering others to step into their strength, their wisdom, their own leadership.
I aspire to cultivate a group of practitioners whose collective power is greater than any one of us. Together, we can do great things and serve each other, as well as the people we’re here to support. I still want to lead—to foster the container that is Downshift—but I no longer feel the need to do it alone. The days of trying to carry it all on my shoulders are behind me. Now, it’s about holding space for the gifts that others bring and celebrating what we can create together.
I’m ready to fully step into my power as a servant leader. So, as we continue to build Downshift, I approach this role not with all the answers, but with a deep trust in the process and in the people beside me. Together, we’re creating something far greater than any one person could achieve alone.
And for the first time in my career, I feel deeply aligned with the leader I’m becoming.